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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29464554">All That Glitters is Gold</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissYouSoFar/pseuds/MissYouSoFar'>MissYouSoFar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alec is 21, Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Demisexual Alec Lightwood, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Magnus is 22, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Drug Use, Past Rape/Non-con, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, Sooooo much pining, Strangers to Friends, Virgin Alec Lightwood, idiots to lovers, stripper!alec</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:35:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,900</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29464554</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissYouSoFar/pseuds/MissYouSoFar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec has stripped down to his sinfully tight gold briefs, his leather pants and tank top discarded on the stage behind him. His dark, glitter-dusted hair has fallen in his eyes, damp from the movement of his body and heat of the lights, his skin glistening with sweat and his signature shimmery gold body dust. He is insanely hot, one leg wrapped around the pole, his back arched so far his hair is nearly brushing the stage floor, and his hips are rolling against the metal in time with the song's beat.  </p><p>It's really almost pornographic how flexible Alec is. In fact, Magnus is willing to bet Alec would make a killing if he branched out into porn. Magnus should have realized he was too far gone when the thought of anyone touching Alec makes him clench his fists at his sides. The sharp jut of pain from his fingernails reminds him he needs to relax -- Alec doesn't belong to him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Original Male Character(s), past Magnus Bane/Camille Belcourt - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>170</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Christmas 2020</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>helloooooo. here's chapter one of stripper!alec. i hope ya'll like it. </p><p><strike>it's currently unbeated because my lovely beta is a super busy college student and I didn't want to bother her.  </strike>Beta'd by the lovely Victoria. she's the very best. all remaining the errors are mine. </p><p>the song Alec strips to in this chapter is West Coast by Lana Del Rey.</p><p>the fic title is from Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The Shadow World wasn’t exactly the most respectable establishment. Magnus was willing to concede that. After all, they were a strip club, but they were arguably the most uniquely themed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the marquee out front boasted, they offered three tiers of services. Shadowhunters did partial nudity; full nudity was reserved for Seelies, and the private rooms were for Warlocks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Each tier also had a corresponding section of the club with the decor to match.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Shadowhunters section was filled with sleek chrome tables, black leather booths, and glowing blue symbols embedded in the stage. Lush green curtains, dark gray velvet Victorian-style chairs, and natural wood tables scattered around with twinkly fairy lights and beautiful vibrant flowers draped overhead decorated the Seelie section. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The VIP Warlock rooms were by far the most opulently finished. The walls had the building's original brick exposed on the back wall -- four-poster beds with the most delicate blue silk bedding, drink carts with crystal glasses, and classic artwork in gilded frames. It looked more like a high-end hotel room than the backroom of a strip club. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dancer’s names were chosen from some family legend handed down over the generations and one of The Shadow World's biggest draws. That's what Lilith had told Magnus when he hired him for security two years ago anyway. Magnus thought it's probably the hot, naked men and their happy hour specials.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah, sometimes someone got a little too handsy with one of the dancers, and Magnus needed to step in, but he mostly spent his shifts scanning the crowd from the bar and talking with Ragnor or Raphael. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was an easy gig, gave him time for his classes and homework, and it paid surprisingly well. He'd like to have insurance, but at least he got free booze. It's not like he planned on working here forever, so Magnus couldn’t complain. Other than the semi-disgusted looks some people gave him when he told them what he does for a living, Magnus liked his job. Life was good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then Azazel hired Alec. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnus’ first instinct when Ragnor told him the new hire was a dancer had been to laugh. Magnus recognized that Alec was very attractive. He had model good looks and legs that went on forever. His hair looked like he’d just rolled out of someone else’s bed, lovely hazel eyes framed with long, thick lashes and pink, plush lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, yeah, Alec had the looks to be a very successful stripper. Magnus just didn’t understand how Alec, dressed in a shapeless hoodie and hunched like he wanted to take up the least space possible, could be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>stripper.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Usually, their new hires came in showing off their bodies since that was what, more often than not, got them the job, as well as their skill with the pole. Magnus figured Alec was the DJ replacement for Simon. Or maybe a new assistant for Azazel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnus had seen plenty of people just like Alec, though not as good-looking, who didn't last more than one shift. Alec wouldn't last to the new year; Magnus was </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure </span>
  </em>
  <span>of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>* * *</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Famous last words</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Magnus thought, as he watched Alec do some complicated spin around the pole. Watching him made Magnus's skin feel like it's been simultaneously lit on fire and dunked in ice water. It was sad, really. He couldn’t believe </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> body was hiding underneath that hoodie. Christ, it should have been illegal for Alec to ever put on a shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s been exactly a month since Alec started, the twelfth time Magnus had seen him perform, and he clearly isn't going anywhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnus swallowed a mouthful of whisky in a vain attempt to calm himself down, too quickly to really taste the smoky, smooth flavor. Magnus hadn't felt this kind of attraction to someone in a long time. Long enough that he didn’t even remember the last time he was crushing this hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure there had been an occasional fling or hookup, but never with someone from work, and never did Magnus develop </span>
  <em>
    <span>feelings,</span>
  </em>
  <span> but there was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> about Alec. Magnetic and intense. Magnus could only thank every deity he knew that Alec is a Shadowhunter. He wouldn't survive seeing Alec's beautiful, naked body every night. Magnus already had enough inconvenient erections to last a lifetime.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Halfway through his performance, Alec had stripped down to his </span>
  <em>
    <span>sinfully </span>
  </em>
  <span>tight gold briefs, his leather pants and tank top discarded on the stage behind him. His dark, glitter-dusted hair had fallen in his eyes, damp from the movement of his body and heat of the lights, his skin glistening with sweat and his signature shimmery gold body dust. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>insanely </span>
  </em>
  <span>hot, one leg wrapped around the pole, his back arched so far his hair is nearly brushing the stage floor, and his hips rolling against the metal in time with the song's beat.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's really almost pornographic how flexible Alec is. In fact, Magnus was willing to bet Alec would make a killing if he branched out into porn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(He should have realized he was too far gone when the thought of anyone </span>
  <em>
    <span>touching</span>
  </em>
  <span> Alec made him clench his fists at his sides. The sharp jut of pain from his fingernails reminded him he needed to relax -- Alec doesn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>belong</span>
  </em>
  <span> to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, that didn’t stop Magnus from trying and failing </span>
  <em>
    <span>spectacularly,</span>
  </em>
  <span> not to think about all the positions he could probably bend Alec into if he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> Magnus'.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lights caught the gold shimmer decorating Alec's body, highlighting the definition of his abs and the sharp jut of his hip bones. The trail disappeared below the band of his briefs, reappearing between Alec's thighs. There isn't a force on this earth that could stop Magnus's thoughts from shifting, thinking about the noises he could wring from Alec, as he trailed his fingers through the downey hair where briefs met skin, followed by his lips, tongue, and teeth. He wanted to touch and taste until Alec fell apart beneath him, and then he wanted to do it again.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ragnor cleared his throat, pulling Magnus's attention away from the stage and out of his thoughts. Magnus hoped the dim lights of The Shadow World hid the flush he knew had spread up his neck and across his cheeks, but he knew from experience that it probably hadn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think you're drooling. You want a napkin?" Ragnor slid him a few fingers of bourbon, amusement coloring his face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm just doing my job, Ragnor," Magnus insisted as he downed the whole glass in one large swallow, trying to convince himself more than anyone else. It's one of their better whisky, something that should be sipped and savored, not wasted on Magnus's raging libido. God, when had he last had sex? Before Alec started, for sure. "Making sure no one needs to be thrown out on their ass."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Raphael, who was effortlessly twirling a bottle of gin for a martini at the other end of the bar, laughed. "For what, Bane. Touching your future boyfriend?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"For touching an </span>
  <em>
    <span>employee.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ragnor replaced his empty whisky glass with a tall glass of water. The look of sympathy on his face made Magnus feel worse than he already did, which is really saying something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnus kept his eyes on the glass, watching the condensation drip down the side onto the bartop and picking at the bowl of pretzels Ragnor had left him until he finally heard the close of 'West Coast', and it was safe to look at the stage again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck, so much for this job being easy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because, </span>
  <em>
    <span>apparently</span>
  </em>
  <span>, god hated him, Alec decided to befriend Magnus. Which in itself was strange. Alec was fantastic on stage, but he wasn’t known for being friendly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It started off small. Alec began sitting next to him at the bar after his set, greeting him with a quiet hello. Depending on the night, Alec was either sweaty and in tiny shorts that leave very little to the imagination, </span>
  <em>
    <span>or</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’s freshly showered in an oversized sweater with his dark hair flopping into his eyes. It’s very confusing for Magnus’ that he was equally interested in both looks. Sometimes Alec would ask him about his makeup or complement the new color in his hair, but mostly he sat with Magnus in silence, other than to ask Ragnor for water or, on more difficult nights, a vodka tonic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnus did his best to not encourage Alec. He gave him short, to-the-point answers, biting back an invitation into his bed or, worse, ask him his favorite color and streak it in his hair and paint it on his fingernails. He wasn’t always successful, but he thought he does a decent job of toeing the line between aloof and rude. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The downside to not engaging Alec in conversation is that it left Alec free to be approached by the clientele. However, it was fascinating to witness people come over to flirt with Alec and watch him </span>
  <em>
    <span>blush </span>
  </em>
  <span>when minutes ago, Alec was grinding against a pole almost naked without an ounce of shame. It’s the same every time. They offer to buy him a drink, and Alec’s eyes would dart over to Magnus. He’d swipe his tongue over his bottom lip, once, twice before he’d turn them down politely. Ragnor was convinced it’s because he liked Magnus, and Raphael just wanted Magnus to shut up about it. Magnus was sure it’s because he’s the muscle hired to protect people like Alec.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, about two months into Alec working at The Shadow World and one month after he started sitting next to Magnus, he plopped himself onto the stool next to Magnus, completely dressed thankfully, and said, “Hi, I’m Alexander Lightwood. Alec. I realized I've never introduced myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t you introduce yourself as </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gideon Hardwood </span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By the angel, no,” Alec groaned, his cheeks turning pink. “I hate that name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t you pick it?” Magnus asked curiously. “Lilith is usually very particular about that.” Magnus adopted the sort of breathy way the owner speaks, “Names have power, Mr. Bane.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec made a noise halfway between a laugh and snort. “Nooo. Isabelle, my sister, she picked it. Thought it was hilarious, and I couldn’t think of anything else to call myself anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnus first thought was, there are so many things I’d love to call you - in bed, and he had to </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally </span>
  </em>
  <span>bite his tongue to not say it out loud. His second thought was how surprised he was that Alec’s family, or at least his sister, knows what his job was. Magnus assumed Alec’s loose clothing and blushing meant he was ashamed of what he did for money, but he had misjudged him. Just another piece of the Alexander Lightwood puzzle that intrigued Magnus despite his best efforts to distance himself. He already liked Alec’s body. Liking his personality was a complication Magnus’ life didn't need. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nephilim? Shadowhunters are supposed to be particularly angelic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec wrinkled his nose, opening his mouth to reply when a disturbance in the Seelie Realm drew both of their attention. A call for security came over his earpiece, and it wasn’t as relieving as Magnus thought it would be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Alexander. I must go fulfill my security duties and deal with that,” Magnus waved his hand over at two customers shouting at each other. “This was fun. I--bye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After that, Alec started talking even more. More than Magnus thought possible from the usually stoic man. Alec mentioned in passing that he moved here alone just a few months ago. Magnus wondered if Alec's lonely too. Was that the reason he sought Magnus out - did he recognize a kindred spirit?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No matter how little Magnus reciprocated conversation or how many times he turned down Alec's invitation to check out the new Thai place or the new movie that's playing. Magnus never saw Alec make any effort in getting to know any of the other people at The Shadow World, but with Magnus, Alec kept trying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His determination would have been kind of impressive if it wasn't directed at Magnus. He wasn't sure how many more times he could turn Alec down. It's exhausting, and Magnus was </span>
  <em>
    <span>weak</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Something Raphael liked to remind him of daily. So, it was only a matter of time before Alec's requests wore him down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>lovely. Even though he wasn’t outwardly friendly, he always made himself available to anyone who needed help. He was partially protective of the female dancers. Magnus had seen many men on the receiving end of Alec’s glare and be nothing but respectful on their next visit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They remind me of my sister,” Alec admitted one night, rubbing at the back of his neck. “She’s a ballet dancer, and she could kick anyone’s ass if they bother her, but I guess seeing these women being harassed still activates my protective instincts.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec’s precisely the kind of person someone would be proud to bring home to their mother. Magnus knew for a fact that his own mother would </span>
  <em>
    <span>adore </span>
  </em>
  <span>Alec</span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been a long time since Magnus brought a boy or a girl home. To his mother, or otherwise. Magnus found it easier to be alone - less mess, fewer complications. Magnus had classes, Ragnor and Raphael, and he was thinking about adopting a cat. At least, that's what he told himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn't need to add someone like Alec. (Quiet. Surprising. Amazing.) It was better that way. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you, CorvusCloudburst for suggesting Gideon Hardwood as Alec’s stripper name and letting me use it! 💖</p><p>p.s. You can follow me on Twitter if you'd like! I occasionally post snippets and talk about my writing and stuff. :) same name as here. (I am unoriginal.)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. St. Patrick's Day 2021</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"I'm too hungry to keep studying,” Alec declared out of nowhere, closing his textbook and placing it on the table. “Let's watch a movie."<br/>"Okay, who are you, and what have you done with my Alec? Alec loves homework. I've had to beg you to stop. Literally beg."<br/>Alec shrugged and, with a laugh, waggled his eyebrows. "I don't know. Maybe you're finally rubbing off on me."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Beta'd by the lovey Victoria. &lt;3 any remaining mistakes are mine.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alec finally wore down the last line of his defenses on Saint Patrick's Day (well, a few hours after). It had been a hell of a shift, with more shitfaced people than Magnus would probably have to deal with the rest of the year, and if he had to hear another bad attempt at an Irish accent, it would be too soon. </p><p>But as bad as Magnus's night had been, Alec's was worse. Magnus watched more than one individual slide their hands from Alec's knee to his thighs. Most of them got the idea when Alec lifted it off his body and placed it back on the armrest of the chair. The ones that didn’t, Magnus had the pleasure of hauling outside.</p><p>Magnus was heading back inside from kicking out the latest handsy customer, who insisted Alec's ass was like the gold at the bottom of a rainbow (Magnus had to admit they're not <em> wrong </em>) when someone spilled an entire pitcher of green beer down the front of Alec.</p><p>Magnus <em> hated </em>St. Patrick's Day. </p><p>To his credit, Alec stayed calmer than anyone else Magnus's seen covered in beer. He gets up from the lap he'd been hovering over and politely excuses himself, disappearing into the back. </p><p>The Shadow World had emptied out for the night, and Magnus was sitting at the bar, helping Ragnor stock when Alec came back, clean and dressed festively in tight green pants, and tapped him on the shoulder. "Today was the <em> worst </em>. Do you wanna get food with me?" </p><p>And maybe it was the fact that Magnus just watched him get soaked with beer, or that Magnus, despite his best intentions, had grown to like Alec (for more than just his body) that had Magnus agreeing. Surprising himself <em> and </em> Alec (and Ragnor). "Okay, where?"</p><p>"Wait, really?" Alec's answering grin <em> definitely </em> didn’t make Magnus's stomach fill with butterflies or make him wish he had said yes weeks ago, just to see it. "Do you like pancakes?"</p><p>* * *</p><p>Over pancakes, because Magnus did, in fact, like them, he learned that Alec was also a Boston University student, majoring in social work with a minor in literature. He admitted he still called his mother and siblings every night, at their insistence, Alec claimed, but from the little Magnus knew about Alec, it was clear he adored and missed his family.  </p><p>“They worry a little too much about me making friends. In Isabelle’s words, I have epic “resting bitch face”, and she's worried I'll die alone because I would rather read a book than talk to people,” Alec divulged, rolling his eyes, but in a way that seemed more fondly annoyed than just annoyed. “I don’t mind talking to people." Alec paused to mix a horrifying amount of sugar into his coffee. "I’m just...selective.”</p><p>Magnus winced internally, feeling more than a little guilty for avoiding Alec’s attempts to start conversations like the plague, but no time like the present to rectify that. “Should I feel special then?”</p><p>Magnus caught a hint of pink forming on the apples of Alec’s cheeks, and oh, what Magnus wouldn't give to know what was going on in Alec's head that's making him blush. Magnus had <em> barely </em> been flirting with him. Alec's reaction was <em> painfully </em>endearing. This man had no right to be so sexy and adorable at the same time. It did strange things to not only Magnus’ heart but also his dick. </p><p>Unfortunately, Alec was saved from replying by the waitress returning to ask if they want refills on their coffees. She made her interest in Alec very clear, leaning so far forward to show off her ample cleavage that if she leaned any further, she’d be in Alec’s lap. </p><p>Alec was polite to a fault, but in talking to the thirsty waitress, Magnus saw a hint of the resting bitch face Alec’s sister was talking about under the darkening blush and stutter. Alec was clearly unsure of a gentle way to express his disinterest. </p><p>Eventually, Magnus took pity on him and reached across the table, brushing his hand along the back of Alec’s a few times before interlocking their fingers. It startled not only the waitress but Alec as well. His gaze focused intently on their hands, his bottom lip between his teeth.  </p><p>“<em> Oh </em>, I’m so sorry. I’ll be right back with your coffee,” she squeaked, hightailing it to the kitchen.</p><p>Magnus took his hand back, but Alec continued staring at where Magnus’ hand had been, a strange look on his face. Not disgust or anger, almost pleased. Not sure what to make of Alec’s reaction, Magnus cleared his throat, jarring Alec out of his staring contest with his hand. “I’m sorry if I overstepped, but you didn’t seem interested in her, and subtly implying <em> we </em> were together seemed the easiest, but if I made you uncom--”</p><p>“Magnus, no. You just surprised me. Thank you, I never know what to do when women flirt with me. Back home, my brother would tease me for blurting out that I’m gay.”</p><p>A teeny, tiny part of Magnus did a dance, knowing that Alec was interested in men; a bigger part shoved away that little part because being into Alec wasn’t an option. This was a one-time thing. A sympathy dinner because Alec had a difficult night. “That method is certainly efficient. Cuts straight to the point.”</p><p>Alec shrugged, a frown playing on his face. Alec picked up his fork and knife, cutting his remaining pancakes into neat little squares before dousing them in blueberry syrup. He stabbed one small pile of squares and shoveled it into his mouth. “I’ve been told I’m too blunt,” Alec confessed. “More than once, actually. I kind of...made a girl at NYU cry.”</p><p>“You say what you think. That’s admirable in my book.”</p><p>Alec gave him a lopsided smile. “Thanks, Magnus.”</p><p>Apparently, Alec had the appetite of an elephant, even more so after he danced, so after they polished off their first plates of pancakes, Alec ordered a second plate. This time with a side of whipped cream. The lord did not give Magnus enough strength to handle watching Alec <em> suck </em> whipped cream off his finger and lick the syrup off his perfect mouth. </p><p>At this point, Magnus was convinced he’d died, and this was hell. A crazy-hot man that ticked all of his boxes, parading around mostly naked every day and doing things like <em> that </em>. Torture. </p><p>“So, how did you end up a stripping social work college student?”</p><p>"I grew about six inches my sophomore year of high school, and my archery instructor made me take a ballet class to help with my balance and control of my body, then Izzy wanted me to do a ballroom dance class with her, and one class led to another. Next thing you know, I'm learning to pole dance."</p><p>Magnus's face flooded with heat. He didn’t want to, but the thoughts came unbidden and unwanted: Alec's face bright with laughter, pale skin stretched taut over his biceps and thighs as he pulled his body up and around, the curve of Alec's neck, his long fingers wrapped around Magnus' --. <em> Jesus Christ, what the fuck, Magnus.  </em></p><p>“That explains the stripping but not the social worker part,” Magnus pointed out, taking a large sip of his coffee. College was a safe subject, right? With Magnus’ luck, Alec probably would regale him with stories of running into burning buildings to save orphans and volunteering at an animal shelter that somehow led to why he chose social work. Then again, that would require Alec to brag about himself, and hell was more likely to freeze over than him admitting he was special. </p><p>“My brother Jace. We adopted him when he turned ten. He was in and out of foster homes for a few months before we adopted him. It wasn’t long, but still, the stories he told me were...he had nightmares for months, always worried we would “give him back” if he acted out. I can’t really explain it, but watching him, I knew that I wanted to help kids like him. Took longer than I wanted to stand up to my parents. I was actually a law student at NYU until a few months ago.”</p><p>“You're not at all what I thought you’d be like.”</p><p>"What do you mean? What did you think I’d be like?”</p><p>Shit. "Not in a bad way," Magnus insisted. Foot meet mouth. "You're...more complex than I originally thought." </p><p>Magnus realized that that doesn't sound any better, but it's the best he can do without gushing. Magnus didn’t know Alec very well, but he knew there's something special about him. Alec wasn’t just a stripper. Alec was intelligent and kind and maybe a little bit magical. Like a unicorn. </p><p>When Alec danced, it was like every ounce of tension left his body, and he was free, but outside of The Shadow World, his body somehow loses all of that sexy fluidity to the point where Magnus had wondered if they're really the same person. </p><p>How could the person who stuttered when their waitress blatantly flirted with him be the same person who didn’t bat an eye at taking off his clothes? Did he have a secret twin? And boy, does that give Magnus some inappropriate ideas.</p><p>"Like an onion?" Magnus offered when minutes have passed without Alec saying anything.</p><p>Alec's eyebrows knitted together, an adorable display of confusion. Magnus had never met anyone so expressive. "Tasty, and I make you cry?"</p><p>"No, you idiot, <em> layered </em>, but I’m sure you’re delicious.” </p><p>Alec’s ensuing bark of laughter made the entire evening worth it. </p><p> ***</p><p>If Magnus thought Alec was determined before -- he was dead wrong. After that night, Alec's invitations to hang out, study, or find obscure novels only increased. He even asked Magnus if he wanted to hit up the gym together once. Alec broke down Magnus' first line of defenses over pancakes and coffee, leaving Magnus feeling a little vulnerable. No one had ever accomplished that so quickly. Alec was like a sledgehammer to the walls surrounding Magnus' heart, and with them gone, he was unable to fight Alec's magnetic pull anymore. So Magnus didn’t bother trying to, accepting all of Alec's invitations as they happened (except for the gym. Magnus wasn't <em> that </em> stupid).</p><p>Magnus and Alec quickly became inseparable - they’re not Magnus and Alec anymore. They’re <em> MagnusandAlec </em> . Magnus was more committed to his friendship with Alec than he had been in some of his admittedly dumpster fire relationships. Magnus could admit, though he'd <em> never </em>tell Ragnor, it was a bit unusual Alec sought out his company, given how Alec continued to interact with others, as in not at all if he could help it, but in a way, it also made total sense. Magnus hadn’t felt incomplete without Alec in his life, but he liked the space Alec took up. They just fit together, in a way Magnus hadn't experienced before, romantically or platonically.</p><p>Yes, Magnus had his group of tight-knit friends that he wouldn't trade for anything, but Alec didn't fit in that category. He was a category all his own.  </p><p> ***</p><p>Independence Day was the next themed day, and seeing Alec’s red, white, and blue-clad ass wasn't an experience Magnus won’t soon forget. </p><p>Magnus wasn't likely to forget driving up to Dartmouth after work that night either. Alec in the passenger seat, the smell of saltwater stinging his nose, and Alec talking his ear off about Lightwood family traditions, his entire body radiating happiness.</p><p>(Ragnor and Raphael, as well as Izzy and Jace, visiting from New York, met them on the beach with beer and fireworks that, when asked where he got them, Raphael told them it would probably be better if they didn't know, and the subject was quickly dropped. </p><p>Izzy laid out a few blankets so they didn’t have to sit in the sand, weighing down the corners with rocks Jace procured along the beach, while Raphael, who was several feet away, set up the firework display.) </p><p>Thinking back on that night, Magnus probably spent more of the night looking at Alec than the firework, marveling how the colors lit up Alec's skin and eyes.</p><p>Alec's laughter as they ran to escape the surf still echoed in Magnus's dreams. The only difference being, when they fell to the sand together, half on top of each other and Alec's leg between Magnus' thighs, Magnus leaned up to kiss Alec. Instead of what really happened that night: nothing (but an awkward boner for Magnus and a too long, very cold shower). </p><p>He liked Alec. Liked him more and faster than he was expecting to. Magnus hadn’t felt this way in years. He liked to have some fun with people and leave his heart protected. Magnus couldn’t have his heart broken if he never offered it to anyone, but Alec, beautiful, complex, grumpy Alec, had unlocked something in him. </p><p>Alec wormed his way under Magnus's skin and into Magnus's life like he belonged there. Like there was this space in Magnus's life carved out just for him. Like... like friend soulmates or some shit. It made Magnus feel kind of bad for the sheer amount of lust he still carried around for Alec because he really did love being Alec's friend. It was enough for him. Really.</p><p>***</p><p>Alec could be found on Magnus's couch after work, more often than Magnus wanted to admit. Sometimes with food, and always with homework. Alec was so hardworking, it's disgusting, but he also made Magnus a better student. Magnus's not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. </p><p>"Do you want to order pizza?" Alec asked. His stupid long legs are stretched across the couch, into Magnus's lap. His glasses practically falling off his face, his nose buried in Human Sexualities. "I'm <em> starving. </em>"</p><p>"Darling, when have I ever not wanted to order pizza?" Magnus scoffed, shoving Alec's legs off his lap and standing up to look for his phone, ignoring Alec's indignant grumble. Magnus needed a break from Statistics and Alec's proximity anyway. "Should we order from OTTO again?"</p><p>Alec hummed his approval, swinging his legs back into Magnus’ vacated spot and laying down against the arm of the couch, his glasses slipping down his nose.</p><p>"You want the usual?" Magnus asked when he came back from his room a few minutes later, phone in hand, and finger poised over the order button. He was pretty sure of the answer—Alec's nothing if not a creature of habit.</p><p>“When have I wanted anything else?”</p><p>“It's called being <em> polite. </em>You might have heard of it. Maybe you’ve become a vegetarian; you don’t tell me everything.”</p><p>But Magnus knew that's not entirely true. Alec was an intensely private person. He frequently complained about his sister’s numerous attempts to set him up on dates and pry into his limited social life. With Magnus, Alec didn’t seem to have the same hang-ups. Maybe because the night they both got hammered and spilled some of their deepest secrets. It was hard to keep your distance when someone knew about your embarrassing childhood crush on your adopted brother. </p><p>Alec raised one eyebrow and smirked, stretching himself out even further, his shirt riding up and exposing a trail of hair that disappears beneath Alec’s jeans leading to... nothing Magnus needed to be thinking about. Magnus wondered if Alec even knew how tempting he looked sprawled out like that across Magnus’s couch. What’s Alec going to unknowingly tempt Magnus with next, ask Magnus to paint him like one of his french girls?  "I think it might have come up this morning when you brought me a ham and swiss croissant."</p><p>Magnus stared back at Alec, looking as unimpressed as possible. "So that's a yes to your usual order then?" </p><p>“Duh.”</p><p>Magnus rolled his eyes at Alec good-naturedly, unlocking his phone to place the order. With a couple of quick flicks of his fingers and dinner was on the way. Magnus pushed Alec’s long legs off the couch, earning himself a glare from Alec. Alec scooted himself into a sitting position, folding his legs in front of himself.</p><p>Magnus flopped down in the free space, immediately finding himself with a lapful of Alec’s legs and feet. Magnus rested a hand on Alec’s ankle, absentmindedly stroking the skin above his sock, Alec’s pleased hum filling the otherwise silent room. </p><p>"I'm too hungry to keep studying,” Alec declared out of nowhere, closing his textbook and placing it on the table. “Let's watch a movie."</p><p>"Okay, who are you, and what have you done with my Alec? Alec loves homework. I've had to beg you to stop. <em> Literally </em>beg."</p><p>Alec shrugged and, with a laugh, waggled his eyebrows. "I don't know. Maybe you're <em> finally </em> rubbing off on me."</p><p>Magnus forced a laugh, but it sounded more like he's choking. Thankfully, Alec didn't seem to notice. Alec was going to be the death of him. "Yeah, you wish."</p><p>****</p><p>Magnus should have been doing homework while they ate, but Alec was warm next to him, and honestly, if Magnus pulled out his textbook, Alec would either leave or spill pizza sauce on it, possibly both, and Magnus wasn’t ready for Alec to go yet. (Or for his $300 textbook being ruined.)</p><p>"Can you pass me the pizza?" Magnus asked. After a few seconds, when Alec was still staring at the tv in an almost wistful way, unresponsive, Magnus poked him in the side. "Alexander, are you in there?"</p><p>Magnus didn't know what he expected Alec to say, but what he definitely wasn't expecting was for Alec to point to the two men being intimate on screen and say, "I've, um, I've never had sex before. Do you think that's really what it's like?" </p><p>"Oh?" Magnus asked, as casually as he could muster. He tried to keep sex and Alec in two very different categories. He usually failed, but he did try. </p><p>"Yeah, I haven't done anything," Alec admitted with a shrug, his face resembling a tomato. He always struggled with talking about anything sexual, and now Magnus understood why. Still, he wished Alec knew there was nothing to be ashamed of. "Girls weren't really interested in me in high school, and then when the football team interested me more than the cheerleaders, I realized I wasn't into them anyway."</p><p>Magnus found it hard to believe the girls in his high school hadn’t been interested in Alec, but the Alec of today didn’t seem to notice when someone was flirting with him, so high school Alec probably didn’t either. The other part of his confession was too much for Magnus to think about much further. He’s seen Alec’s body extensively. The man was sex on legs. Magnus just assumed someone had….planted their flag atop that very, very tall mountain. </p><p>"There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, Alexander. You know that, right?" </p><p>"I've gotten the “virginity is a social construct” talk before. I know there's nothing wrong with me and that the right person won't care," Alec answered, stealing two garlic knots from Magnus' plate. "I have made out with a couple guys back in New York, but that's it. Have you ever...?"</p><p>Magnus took back one of the garlic knots Alec had stolen, glaring at him with false heat. Teasingly, he replied, "Made out with guys in New York? Nope." </p><p><em> I’d like to make out with a guy from New York, though. </em> </p><p>"You know what I mean," Alec insisted, rolling his eyes and bumping their shoulders together. </p><p>Magnus wasn’t in the proverbial closet, hadn’t been since junior year of high school, but somehow the topic hadn’t come up with Alec. He didn't know Magnus was bisexual. Magnus had met an unfortunate number of people who thought that made him a slut, a cheater, or both. </p><p>Magnus knew in his heart that he could trust Alec with this, with everything. Alec wasn't like the others, but still, Magnus felt surprisingly nervous that this could be the end of their friendship if Alec was a secret biphobe.</p><p>"I've, uh, been intimate with both men and women. Not in a while, though. I barely even remember the last time I kissed someone." </p><p>Magnus did remember. It had been about a week before Alec started at The Shadow World and ruined his goddamn life (in the best way), but Magnus didn't think Alec needed to know that.</p><p>Alec didn’t bat an eye at Magnus being bisexual. He didn't ask if he'd ever had a threesome or why doesn't he pick a side. Alec didn't ask anything at all. He merely smiled at Magnus, stole the last piece of pizza, and said, "That's cool."    </p><p>Magnus thought that was the end of it when Alec didn't say anything more and resumed watching the movie. </p><p>"A lot of people see me almost naked," Alec remarked out of nowhere, putting his pizza down and looking over at Magnus. "I love stripping, but that's still not really me, you know? Gideon Hardwood is someone I become when I step onto that stage. It's Gideon that people are seeing. I want it...sex to be with someone special, someone who looks at me and sees Alec. Someone who loves <em> me </em>." </p><p>"One day, someone's going to love you, heart and soul. You deserve that, Alexander."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Halloween 2021</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sure, it would be better if Alec's flirting was real and they were in love, but this was great too. Alec's smile when Magnus showed up with bacon cheeseburgers, three kinds of fries, and two milkshakes? It almost makes Magnus's descent further into the rabbit hole, also known as Alec-filled codependency, worth it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello there! I updated the tags, so you might want to check those out before reading the chapter. Let me know if there's anything I didn't tag for that I should have.  If you need to skip the non-con that I tagged out of an abundance of caution, stop reading after "two, three, four more times" and restart when Alec says: "Drugs?"</p><p>Sorry it took me forever to get this one out there. I keep having more ideas and it wouldn't stop growing. </p><p>Thank you Meg for reading this chapter over for me. I am incredibly grateful!</p><p>I will have some art (that I commissioned - I am a hopeless artist) related to this chapter posted on Twitter in a week or two probably, if anyone is interested in that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Magnus fell in love with Alec on a random mundane Sunday morning. He was hungry, slightly hungover, and hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep when he was roused from bed by someone knocking, followed by the sound of a key in the lock. Alec was the only person other than Magnus with a key, so it's either him or someone trying to get into the wrong apartment. Magnus certainly hoped it was Alec - he was way too tired to fight an intruder. Magnus heaved himself off the couch to greet (probably) Alec, finding himself face to collarbones with him.</p><p>"Magnus!"</p><p>Alec's voice was so loud it made Magnus wince. Alec had been out drinking with him last night, matching him shot for shot. What kind of magical anti-hangover powers did he possess? Was he truly a god? That would explain so much.</p><p>"What? No. I'm a regular human. Those shots really went to your head."</p><p>"That's exactly what a god on earth would say," Magnus mumbled. "Don't take this personally, darling, but why are you here? It's seven in the morning."</p><p>"Your grade for Photographic Lighting Techniques is up. You got an A. That's amazing!"</p><p>"You came over at seven in the morning to tell me about my grade?" Magnus asked. Is Alec even real?</p><p>Alec shrugged off his backpack and pulled a white paper bag stained with little grease spots. "I mean, I also came over to bring you cronuts because I know how much you love them."</p><p>Magnus grabbed for the bag, eager for delicious, sugary carbs to soak up the remaining alcohol in his system. "I knew I liked you for a reason. How did you find out my grade anyway?"</p><p>"Magnus, you have the same password for everything." Alec handed the bag to Magnus and set about making the coffee. He pulled out the French press along with the coffee Magnus buys just for Alec, the electric kettle, and two coffee mugs. "It wasn't hard to figure out."</p><p>Magnus leaned against the counter, watching as Alec filled the kettle and set it aside. He carefully leveled off each scoop of coffee before dumping it into the press and waited for the water to boil. It's so incredibly domestic it hurts.</p><p>Magnus wasn't sure what triggered the realization, if it's the cronuts, the smell of coffee, Alec puttering around Magnus' kitchen like he belonged there, or that Alec hacked into his email to check Magnus's grades for him. At that moment, all Magnus could think was how he wanted this every morning. Alec in his arms. Alec in his kitchen. Alec in his heart. Fuck, he loved him. He was in love with Alec.</p><p>It shouldn't have come as a surprise to him. Magnus was self-aware enough to know his feelings for Alec were more than just an idle crush, but it was a surprise. Magnus always did his best to push his feelings from his mind. He let most of his desirous thoughts about Alec's physical appearance run wild because being in lust with Alec seemed safer than fully acknowledging the depth and weight of his feelings. But, unfortunately, denial wasn't just a river in Egypt. Thankfully, before Magnus could spiral too far down the rabbit hole, Alec startled him out of his thoughts by pressing a cup of coffee into his hands.</p><p>"Will you go to the movies with me?"</p><p>Magnus took a long sip of his coffee, glancing at his watch. "Now?"</p><p>"Yeah, in like an hour. AMC is having a Star Wars marathon this weekend. So we could sit in the back, and you can bitch about how much you hate the sequels."</p><p>"That's my favorite part of watching Star Wars movies. Jar Jar Binks is an abomination."</p><p>"I know, I know. You told me last week when I suggested dressing up as Anakin, and last month when it was Mark Hamill’s birthday," Alec laughed, letting it trail off when he caught the glare Magnus was leveling him with.</p><p>Alec shifted his weight back and forth, his arms interlocked behind his back. Alec's hazel eyes were locked on his, and usually, Magnus could read every emotion swirling in their depths, but Alec's inner thoughts were hidden this time.</p><p>"So, do you wanna come with me? I'll buy you popcorn, and, um, we could go to dinner after."</p><p>Magnus fought to keep his expression neutral while inside, his heart clenched painfully. Did Alec know what his question sounded like? The way Magnus wished Alec meant it. In the end, it didn't matter. Regardless of his deeper feelings, Magnus never turned down spending the day with his best friend.</p><p>-----</p><p>How both of them ended up with Halloween off was a mystery to Magnus. Not that he was complaining, but holiday/theme nights were some of the worst at The Shadow World, and this way, Magnus was spared. If he had to watch Alec strip in that costume, he honestly would likely break his resolve to not ask Alec if he wanted to do inappropriate things together and do just that.</p><p>Magnus had barely resisted doing so when Alec came out of his room, asking Magnus to help him try his wings on. In fact, the memory of it was permanently seared into his mind. Magnus held the wings steady for Alec to slide his arms into the clear loops. The feathers were beautiful pearly white with gold tips. They ended just above his briefs, showing off the curve of Alec's ass.</p><p>Typically, that's where Magnus' torture stopped, but apparently, there was nothing angelic about dressing up like an angel. The shimmering gold material was so obscenely tight that Alec might as well be naked for all they concealed. Magnus wasn't sure how Alec squeezed all that in there. Finally, Alec's costume was tied together with white fishnet stockings adorned with diamond-like rhinestones. Fishnets.</p><p>Thankfully, Alec hadn't tried those on when he modeled it for Magnus. The thought of Alec's strong legs encased in something so feminine and delicate, the diamond shape that would be imprinted into his skin when Alec peeled them off at the end of the night. Oof, Magnus didn't have the strength for that.</p><p>It was a shame that the patrons of The Shadow World would be deprived of such a wonderful sight. Alec would have looked beautiful, twirling around the pole with his wings hanging behind him, showcased in cool-white lighting. Magnus felt a petty sense of satisfaction that he would be the only one to see Alec looking like an angel come to life.</p><p>So, with a free Halloween night for the both of them, Magnus thought they could go to the movies and avoid all the parties and drunk freshmen, but no - Alec needed to study.</p><p>It wasn't even final's week, and Alec insisted on cramming for Human Behaviors. It's ridiculous because Alec could never study another day in his life and still get an A, but Alec grew up with a family of lawyers. He was a very by-the-books kind of guy. The law is the law, or in this case, studying for a test you know you can pass with your eyes closed was the responsible thing to do. Magnus wanted to be annoyed, but Alec's intelligence and commitment to his future were just a few of the nearly endless things that Magnus loved about him, so instead of being annoyed, he was proud of what Alec was studying to accomplish.</p><p>People that didn't know Alec would call him uptight or strict. Magnus preferred to think of Alec as disciplined and focused. He was a puzzle of contradictions. The rules are the rules. If there was a test, he studied before anything else. He wouldn't use his phone in class if it wasn't an emergency. Something Alec repeatedly stressed to Magnus after he went on a texting binge, and Alec's phone nearly vibrated out of his back pocket. But, Alec also liked to sneak snacks into the movies because they're too expensive, jaywalked at every opportunity, and he's an exotic dancer, a perfectly acceptable profession but not what you would expect from a rule-following child of two lawyers.</p><p>That's how Magnus found himself at the movies alone on a rare Friday night off. It was weird - if Magnus was honest with himself - walking up to the movie theater without Alec. Magnus never had a problem going to the movies alone before Alec; he usually went alone. None of his other friends shared his taste in films, but Alec came along and was always down to watch anything Magnus wanted. Anything. Magnus once jokingly asked if Alec would come to see Blue Is the Warmest Color, and Alec sat through all three hours and 7 minutes of it without a single complaint. However, Alec did start watching the trailers for the movies Magnus suggested.</p><p>So yeah, it felt weird. The knowledge that Magnus could sit wherever he wanted, not the back row that Alec preferred, that he could choose to see the movie in 3D because the glasses hurt Alec's eyes, should have relieved him, but he would miss Alec's hand bumping into his in the popcorn bucket and hogging the armrests so that Magnus had no choice but to put his arm over the back of Alec's seat. Alec was tied up in parts of himself that Magnus didn't even know existed, parts he thinks Alec may have created.</p><p>Magnus spent several minutes lingering outside the theater, receiving more than a few strange looks. He was debating saying fuck it and telling Alec to come over to study. Magnus could quiz him with Alec's ridiculous flashcards. Maybe even order takeout and veg out on the couch after Alec finished studying. Magnus started tapping out the message when his phone buzzed in his hand with a text from Alec.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>Can I come over after your movie? I'll bring food, and you can tell me about the movie. Sorry I couldn't come with you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>of course. You can go over now if you want before you get too engrossed in your textbooks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>don't worry about food. the good food places are closer to me anyway. I'll grab something on my way home.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>Fine, but I'm bringing ice cream.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>see you in a few hours, darling.</em>
</p><p>"One ticket today, please," Magnus requested when he reached the ticket window.</p><p>Magnus felt lighter, knowing he could still spend the evening with Alec. The idea of coming home and having Alec there was somewhat thrilling. Once again, Magnus considered asking Alec to move in. They spent 90% of their time together anyway, and it would save money on rent. But, no matter how many times he thought about it, Magnus ultimately settled on no.</p><p>Magnus was far enough gone for Alec without seeing him soft and sleep-warm in the mornings. Magnus also had enough foresight to know they would platonically fall into bed together after like two weeks. Anyone else who knew Alec wouldn't believe how much Alec whined when Magnus made him take his head or feet out of Magnus' lap or move off the couch to go to bed.</p><p>Even Alec's own family found it strange. Magnus remembered Alec flushing bright red when Magnus said something about going home and rubbing Alec's feet in front of Isabelle and Jace. Jace had choked on his coffee, and Isabelle laughed so hard Magnus was worried danish was going to come out of her nose. "What have you done to Alec that he lets you touch him?"</p><p>Alec jumped up from the table, almost knocking over his and Magnus' coffees, mumbling something about needing to use the bathroom. His face still resembling a tomato with a sunburn.</p><p>"Nothing?" Magnus had replied, feeling incredibly confused. "Alec and I are often physically affectionate. Is that not something he normally likes?"</p><p>"Yeah, no. My brother is not what I would consider warm and fuzzy. But, you make him happier than he's ever been."</p><p>"We're just friends, but he makes me very happy too."</p><p>Jace had then snorted and opened his mouth like he had something to say when Alec returned from the bathroom, and that had been the end of the conversion.</p><p>The memory kept Magnus up at night, wondering what Isabelle and Jace meant. It was like they were implying that Alec… but no, he couldn't. Alec would have said something by now. Right?</p><p>Magnus resolved to shove it to the furthest recesses of his mind, but somehow it still crept up on him in moments like this, filling him with hope for something that never came to fruition.</p><p>Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Magnus walked towards the snacks counter, debating what size popcorn to order without Alec here to steal one-third of it. He really wanted chocolate-covered raisins, but this theater didn't carry them, and without Alec and his functional clothes with lots of pockets, Magnus couldn't smuggle any in.</p><p>Magnus loved his clothes, but this did come with an inconvenient lack of large pockets. A box of chocolate-covered raisins in his pocket would ruin how good his ass looked in these pants, and Magnus wouldn't want to deprive anyone of the experience that was his ass.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Magnus:</em> </strong><br/>
<em>burgers, fries, and milkshakes?</em>
</p><p>Maybe next time Alec couldn't come with him (and given how many times Alec apologized, Magnus had a feeling that might be never again), Magnus could borrow his jacket and sneak snacks in that way. With the added bonus of smelling like Alec.</p><p>He waved to Katie when he got close enough to the counter. She worked the snack counter 95% of the time when he and Alec came to see a movie here. They're close enough that she recognizes their faces but doesn't know their names.</p><p>"Large popcorn and Twizzlers, right?" Katie took a package of Twizzlers out from under the counter and turned to fill a bucket with popcorn.</p><p>"Actually, it's only me today. Just the popcorn, please."</p><p>"Oh, sorry about that. You're here with your boyfriend so often, I just assumed."</p><p>Magnus knew without a doubt she was referring to Alec. They came here far too often, always together or in a group, until tonight.</p><p>The thing is, Magnus wasn't surprised she thought he and Alec were dating. More often than not, Alec stood a little too close, was a bit too friendly, whined things like, "come on, Magnus. Let me pay this time" while grabbing at Magnus' hands, occasionally holding one of them for longer than seemed necessary. Once, he even kissed Magnus' temple. It gave people, sometimes Magnus included, the wrong idea about their relationship.</p><p>That's the reason he gave himself for not correcting her, "No worries. We get that a lot. We're practically one person." Magnus said, handing over a ten-dollar bill. At least movies are cheaper without Alec. "He has a big test Monday, so he's home studying."</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Alexander ❤️:</em> </strong><br/>
<em>Yes, please! ❤️</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Magnus:</em> </strong><br/>
<em>heading into the movie. I'll text you when I'm done.</em>
</p><p>Magnus pocketed his phone before picking up his bucket of popcorn and thanking Katie.</p><p>Even without Alec, Magnus chose to sit in the center of the back row. He's gotten used to it anyway, and it's away from other people. Magnus took a handful of popcorn and shoved it into his mouth just as the previews finished rolling, and the already dim lights were turned down. No one could see him be ungraceful in the dark. Magnus enjoyed the movie for what it was, mindless entertainment. It was hard to think about the sad state of your love life when there were explosions and espionage.</p><p>On his way out, Katie waved to him from behind the snack counter. "I hope your boyfriend passes his test! Have a good night."</p><p>Magnus pulled out his phone to text Alec. There's about a 50/50 chance Alec had already passed out, face first in one of his textbooks on Magnus' couch. Magnus wouldn't mind going home and eating a frozen meal Alec forced him to buy for emergencies, but if Alec is still awake, he'll be grumpy without food.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>hey, the movie is over. how's studying going?</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>Katie asked where my boyfriend was</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>Fine, I only want to rip out my hair a little bit.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>You don't have a boyfriend.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>don't you dare damage your beautiful locks. not after i finally convinced you to stop washing your hair in 3 in 1 shampoo</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>she meant you, dummy. we're always together</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>Oh. What did you tell her?</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>the truth. that you're home studying for a test.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>So I'm your boyfriend now? :P Did I miss that development?</em>
</p><p>Magnus breathed a sigh of relief. He should have known Alec would think nothing of the frankly unreal amount of time they spend together, the fact that people believe they are together rolling off his back like it's nothing. Maybe it was Magnus' feelings for Alec that make it seem so problematic every time someone pointed out how close they are. But, of course, Alec doesn't have feelings for him, so it isn't a big deal.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>gasp. sugarplum, you've already forgotten me? yesterday was our seven day anniversary.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>Let me make it up to you, buttercup. I promise I can be the man you deserve.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>I suppose I can find it in my heart to forgive you—anything for my little jelly bean.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>….maybe this is why people think we're dating.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>but I wouldn't have it any other way.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>Me too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>you don't think it's weird, do you?</em>
</p><p>Magnus regrets it the moment he pressed send on his follow-up text. He's taken a page out of Alec's book and overthinking things. Dwelling on it was going to make things weird.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>Of course it's not weird. If anything, it's flattering.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>how so?</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>Magnus. You've seen yourself, right? You're waaaaay out of my league. I'd be lucky to have someone like you.</em>
</p><p>Magnus' heart pounded frantically in his chest. He desperately wanted Alec's words to mean what Magnus wanted them to. But, no, Alec couldn't want that. More than likely, Alec was just his blunt, honest self. Though how he thought he wasn't in Magnus' league was beyond him.</p><p>It was well established how attractive Magnus found Alec, not to mention men and women threw themselves at Alec every day. Magnus wanted Alec to feel as beautiful, both inside and outside, as he was.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>darling, you flatter me, but, to be frank, you couldn't be more wrong. you're 100% in my league. i'd be lucky to have you too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>You're my best friend. I don't know what I would do without you in my life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>lucky for you, you'll never have to find out.</em>
</p><p>Magnus watched three tiny dots appear and disappear in the text window a few times with no reply from Alec. Magnus was just about to text and ask if Alec still wanted food when he received another text.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>Will you be here soon? I need fooood. I finished studying, and my stomach is trying to eat itself. I think I may be dying.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>Also, I'm bored. I know you'll kick my ass if I watch Bridgerton without you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>you bet your fine ass I will. i'll be there in like 15 minutes. try to hold on for me. :p</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>the police will ask so many questions if you die and it would be so inconvenient for me</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>Alexander ❤️</strong>:</em><br/>
<em>Fuck you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>If only in my dreams, my darling.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>I didn't mean it as an offer, but it can be. ;)</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>Alexander! How scandalous, you haven't even seen my ankles. Yet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>you wanna change that?</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>Image.jpeg ;)</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>put that away before someone gets hurt. I think I need the smelling salts.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>but it's my best asset ;)</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Magnus:</strong> </em><br/>
<em>okay, i've hidden my swoon-inducing ankle. i'll be home with food in about ten minutes.</em>
</p><p><em><strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong></em><br/>
<em>Yay. I'll be waiting for you with Bridgerton queued up. ❤️</em><br/>
_____</p><p>At the beginning of the night, Magnus had resolved to reduce how much time he and Alec spent together. It would be healthier for Magnus. Maybe he could even move on if he didn't orbit Alec's sun.</p><p>But when Magnus got home, greeted by a soft, sleepy Alec, Magnus couldn't imagine not having this all the time. Sure, it would be better if Alec's flirting was real and they were in love, but this was great too. Alec's smile when Magnus showed up with bacon cheeseburgers, three kinds of fries, and two milkshakes? It almost makes Magnus's descent further into the rabbit hole, also known as Alec-filled codependency, worth it.</p><p>------</p><p>A few days after Thanksgiving, Alec showed up at his apartment at 7:45, apparently trying out his best impression of a drug addict. His eyes were rimmed red, he had a suspicious stain and white powder on his worn-out hoodie, and his already typically messy hair standing up in more directions than normal.</p><p>"Darling, I know school has been stressful, but this," Magnus gestured to all of Alec, "seems a bit excessive, and honestly, I'm a bit offended you would experiment with drugs without me."</p><p>Magnus liked to joke about it, but his days of partying and sporadic recreational drug use were long behind him. Camille had seduced him into doing it the first time, promising they only had to do it once, but once somehow because, two, three, four more times.</p><p>Camille had quickly learned how fast he would do what she wanted with a little bit of ecstasy, how willing he was to watch other men fuck her while on a ketamine high. Sometimes, Camille had him participate before the euphoria wore off and confusion set in, putting him down and degrading him until he stopped resisting. "You're a slut so desperate for love you'll fuck anyone who gives you attention, isn't that right, darling? Well, he wants you."</p><p>"Drugs?" Alec blinked at him a few times, looking back and forth between himself and Magnus. "This is flour, Magnus. I stayed up to clean my apartment for Izzy. Trying to function on four cups of coffee alone was probably a mistake. I confused flour with sugar, and uh. I'm not really sure how I ended up here."</p><p>"Well, that's a relief. That is a rabbit hole no one should go down."</p><p>Magnus was glad Alec was too sleep-deprived to think to ask what Magnus' words might mean. Catarina and a therapist were the only people he'd told about the things Camille coerced him to do, decisions Magnus was still ashamed of even if he hadn't been fully able to understand what he was deciding. "You need to sleep, Alexander. Come on, you can use my bed."</p><p>Magnus grasped Alec's hand to guide him down the hall to his bedroom, worried Alec would run into a wall or fall without the extra support. For all the time Alec spent in his apartment, he'd never been inside Magnus' bedroom. Now Magnus was going to have Alec in his bed. "Here you are, do you need any--" Magnus trailed off when he turned around.</p><p>In the thirty seconds, since Magnus let go of Alec's hand to pull the comforter off his bed, Alec had stripped off his shoes, hoodie, and shirt and was working on the button of his jeans. Alec shucked them off his slim hips and hopped on one leg at a time to get out of them, leaving Alec in tight boxer briefs. Jesus Christ, which god had Magnus pissed off? He'll go and leave one thousand offerings at their shrine if it would stop their evident hatred of him and stop Alec from being half-naked, out of work, in front of Magnus ever again.</p><p>Magnus cleared his throat a few times until he was sure he could speak without sounding like he was incredibly thirsty, and Alec was a talllllll glass of water. "Lay down," Magnus ordered. "You look dead on your feet."</p><p>He helped Alec into bed, pulling the sheet over Alec up to his collarbones in an attempt to make Alec look less tempting. It didn't work. He only succeeded in making Alec a different kind of tempting. Alec looked comfortable and like he belonged among Magnus' deep blue sheets.</p><p>Alec pushed himself up on his elbows, the sheet falling to his waist. Christ, Alec's chest really was a work of art. Maybe Magnus had pissed off multiple gods, perhaps an angel or two. Alec in his bed would live rent-free in his mind forever. "Magnus, will you stay with me?"</p><p>Magnus nodded, heading for the opposite side of the bed. He could lay close to the edge until Alec fell asleep. Magnus didn't have any plans for the day, so after, he could have an existential crisis on his couch.</p><p>But, of course, Alec didn't get that memo. After Magnus slipped under the sheets, Alec hooked an arm around Magnus' waist and slid him across the bed. Magnus wasn't quite flush against Alec, but there couldn't be more than a few inches between them. Alec shuffled a little closer, burying his face in Magnus' neck. "Is this okay?"</p><p>Magnus' skin felt like it was on fire everywhere they were touching, and he was using all of his control to force his body to stay relaxed, but sure, this was okay. Magnus combed his fingers through Alec's messy hair, scratching at his scalp the way Alec liked. Magnus could almost pretend this was real, that this was a regular morning for him and Magnus, falling asleep snuggled together but, it would be dangerous to indulge in that silly fantasy. "Of course, Alec."</p><p>Alec whispered something into Magnus' neck, but all he could make out was, "I...you, Magnus."</p><p>"What was that, darling?"</p><p>All Magnus heard in response from Alec were soft snores and slow even breaths. Magnus meant to get up right away, but the warmth of Alec's body and being woken up early were drawing him back into the sandman's arms.</p><p>Magnus thanked every single God he could think of when he woke up before Alec. In their sleep, Magnus had rolled over, and Alec was wrapped around him like an octopus. Magnus rescinded his thanks when Alec wiggled in his sleep, and Magnus felt the evidence of what must have been a very good dream against his ass.</p><p>Because Magnus wasn't tortured enough, Alec pushed his hips more firmly against Magnus' ass and moaned quietly before repeating the movement again, releasing a louder groan while he rocked his hips against Magnus' ass with a hummed m sound.</p><p>Magnus' brain finally came back online, and he jumped out of bed, startling Alec awake in the process, trying very, very hard not to think about what was tenting his sheets.</p><p>"Magnus, what?" Alec blinked the sleep out of his eyes and scooted up the bed, drawing his knees up to his chest. His cheeks were flushed, hair a mess, and a thin sheen of sweat on his skin, looking more like he'd spent the morning indulging in debauchery than sleeping. Magnus wanted to devour him. "How long have I been asleep?</p><p>"Only three or four hours. I'm going to take a shower," and probably guilty jerk off to the memory of you grinding your dick against my ass, "and then we can do whatever else you need to do for Isabelle's arrival."</p><p> </p><p>And that's the story of how Magnus found himself at the grocery store with Alec. Izzy would be visiting for some of fall break, and her train arrived in a few hours. After some sleep, Alec explained that Isabelle told him her plans yesterday afternoon. As a result, he went full mother hen mode, cleaning his entire apartment top to bottom and now grocery shopping as if Isabelle would care if Alec had groceries. Both of them lived off takeout or frozen food, so why Alec was buying bread is beyond him.</p><p>"Should I get rocky road or mint chocolate chip?" Alec asked, looking between the two cartoons in his hands. "Or both?"</p><p>Magnus trailed behind him, having gotten distracted by a new flavor of gelato. "Why don't you just get ice cream on campus?"</p><p>"It's cheaper to buy a gallon, and I don't have to leave my apartment. Or talk to people," Alec remarked, putting them both in the cart and continued down the aisle.</p><p>Magnus laughed, placing a pint of mango gelato into their cart. "Oh my god, Alexander. You're like an economically-wise, grumpy old man."</p><p>"Gee, you really know how to make a guy feel loved," Alec said, in the flattest tone he can muster.</p><p>"It's okay. You're my grumpy old man.</p><p>"I don't think that's better, but thanks?"</p><p>After a stupid amount of time in the grocery store, they finally were back at Alec's apartment, unloading all the groceries. Well, Alec unloaded them, Magnus supervised.</p><p>They sat in comfortable silence, Alec's legs slung over Magnus'. The morning should have been dull, they hadn't done anything exciting, but it was calm and domestic. I love you, Magnus wished he could say, looking at Alec's relaxed face resting on the arm of the couch. Magnus was about 99% sure Alec would say it back. You don't have closeness like they do without some kind of love. It would hurt too much to hear the words back without them having the same meaning.</p><p>"I've got to head out soon and pick up Isabelle at the train station. Do you want to come out with us? I think she's dragging me to some club. You can save me from having to dance with a stranger."</p><p>Alec in clubbing clothes Magnus made the poor decision of forcing Alec to buy, sweaty and grinding against him? Magnus would rather see Alec dance with another man. Okay, he didn't want that either, but still, Magnus had to pass on torturing himself. "I can't, unfortunately. You'll have to fend off your suitors all on your own, my dear."</p><p>Alec's brow furrowed so intensely his forehead started to wrinkle and his mouth hardened into a severe line. "Why?"</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Why won't you come with me?"</p><p>"Alexander, I--"</p><p>Alec blinked a few times and shook his head subtly, the apples of his cheeks turning pink.“Never mind, sorry. I--I don't know what came over me."</p><p>Alec crossed his arms across his stomach, hunching in on himself. Magnus didn't know what was going on with him, but he hated to see Alec making himself smaller, something Alec had admitted to doing a lot when he was younger and uncomfortable with his body.</p><p>Magnus hesitated to touch Alec but eventually couldn't resist the urge to comfort him when he hadn't unfurled his body. "It's alright, Alexander. We have plans for tomorrow, right? Brunch with you and your lovely sister?"</p><p>Alec nodded tersely, his frame finally relaxing a little, but his arms remained curled around his midsection. Alec stared at his shoes while he spoke, something still off, but Magnus couldn't imagine what. "Yeah, of course. That's -- yeah. I've got to get Isabelle. See you tomorrow."</p><p>Alec was out the door before Magnus could even say goodbye.</p><p>"I guess I'll let myself out."</p><p>______________</p><p>Magnus originally planned on staying home and drinking until he didn't love Alec anymore so that he could go to brunch in the morning and be his usual fabulous self without the crushing pain of wondering why Alec didn't want him.</p><p>Somehow, drinking alone in his bedroom turned into getting smashed and grinding his ass against Alec look-alikes in a club. Not the best plan he's ever had, but it's been almost a year since he met Alec and nearly two since he's had sex. So falling into someone else's bed would at least be pleasurable, if not effective, in removing his feelings.</p><p>That's when Magnus had the brilliant idea of fucking someone specifically who looked like Alec's twin through the lens of alcohol. If Magnus took him into a dark corner and had him blow him, visually, he wouldn't know that the brown locks fisted in his hand weren't Alec's. He could pretend it was Alec's lips tight around his cock and fuck Alec out of his system.</p><p>If Magnus was sober, he would have realized this was a terrible idea, but Magnus isn't sober, so grinding turned into making out in the middle of the dance floor and more tequila, followed by sloppy, open-mouthed kissing against the bar. The stranger, Chris' cock was hard when he ground his hips against Magnus' crotch. Magnus squeezed a hand between their bodies, letting Charles grind against his hand, rubbing his palm against his dick encouragingly. Finally, Caleb got the memo, rolling his hips continually against Magnus' hand and cock.</p><p>Magnus started to consider that this was a mistake, but then a thought popped into his head, obliterating Magnus' doubt. He's not as big as Alexander. I bet Alec could fill you up and satisfy you more than this guy ever could.</p><p>That was reason enough for Magnus to ignore Jiminy Cricket or whoever the fuck was whispering to him and invite Christian home with him.</p><p>Magnus grabbed Chase's hand and stumbled for the exit, with the niggling feeling that someone was watching him. He stopped by the door, scanning the dance floor, but he was drunk enough that everything was kind of hazy.</p><p>Craig tugged on his arm, refocusing Magnus' attention in getting out of the club so they could fuck. Maybe he should have seen if Casey was up for something quick and dirty in the men's room.</p><p>Someone with messy brown hair and loooong legs caught his eye just before the door closed behind him. Even through the haze, they looked so much like Alexander that it gave Magnus pause, but he was out with Isabelle, so it couldn't be him. Right?</p><p>--------</p><p>Magnus crashed through his door with Clay, frantically shedding their jackets and shoes. Magnus guided Colton to the couch, shoving back against the cushions and climbing into his lap. Magnus rolled his hips against Conrad's, moaning when their cocks rub together through their pants.</p><p>Magnus grabbed a fistful of Carson's hair and yanked their head back sharply, licking into his mouth, sucking the taste of lime off his tongue. Cillian's hands gripped his ass, giving each cheek a tight squeeze. "Ahhhh, fuck."</p><p>"That's the idea," Clark murmured, nipping at Magnus' ear lobe. "Let's get you on your back, sexy."</p><p>Curtis guided him onto his back, immediately going to work on Magnus' complicated belt. He had just gotten it undone when Magnus' gaze landed on Alec's textbook, glasses, and the t-shirt he'd left behind this morning on the armchair. Alec. A realization hit him like ice water being poured over his head. Magnus didn't want to do this just to get over Alec. Magnus didn't even really want to get over Alec. He'd gotten drunk and maudlin holding Alec's shirt, and everything spiraled from there.</p><p>Magnus pushed Cameron away, jumping up off the couch as fast as he could. "We're drunk. We shouldn't do this. I shouldn't do this. I have a...I have an Alec."</p><p>To his credit, he took Magnus' outburst a lot better than most people would have. He didn't even ask what having an Alec meant. Instead, Conner rebuttoned his pants and gathered up his shoes and jacket. "If you ever don't have an Alec, maybe we could try this again. You're super hot."</p><p>Magnus didn't have the heart to tell him he would always have an Alec, so he agreed, subtly ushering him towards the front door. "Uhhh, yeah. That sounds great... uh, what's your name again?"</p><p>"Evan."</p><p>"Right, Evan! Well, have a goodnight."</p><p>Magnus locked the door behind Evan and staggered back to the couch. What the fuck was he doing with his life? Drunken fumbling with a stranger who looked like Alec, what was that going to help? It would have only hurt when he remembered the dark-haired man in his memory wasn't his Alexander.</p><p>What Magnus needed right now was Thai food. Lots of Thai food. Magnus had skipped dinner in favor of whiskey earlier the night, so he was in dire need of sustenance. Magnus pulled open a menu on his phone, trying to narrow down what he wanted to order for everything to maybe five or six things. If Alec were here, he'd try to talk Magnus down to four, so Magnus pettily added a seventh item to his cart.</p><p>Magnus was just about to place his order when his phone chimed. Of course, it's Alec, as if he knew Magnus was thinking about him.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Alexander ❤️:</em>
  </strong><br/>
<em>Hey.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Alexander ❤️:</em>
  </strong><br/>
<em>I hope you're okay.</em>
</p><p>________</p><p>Alec knew he was pathetic. He should have given up a long time ago. But, instead, Alec's been pinning for his friend like a pitiful lovesick puppy, who wasn't otherwise interested in Alec beyond friendship. Time and time again, Alec would accept that he and Magnus would never be together like that, only for Magnus to do something to make Alec doubt that belief. Like on the fourth of July, Alec could swear Magnus was going to kiss him or the way Magnus' hands lingered when he helped Alec with his Halloween costume. Those moments had to mean something, but Alec couldn't figure out what. Maybe he was reading too much into it, seeing something that wasn't there to give himself hope.</p><p>Most of the time, Alec could handle it. Alec couldn't imagine his life without Magnus. He loved being Magnus' best friend, and if that's all he could have, so be it. Alec had plenty of practice repressing; he could push down his love for Magnus too.</p><p>Or, he could until Isabelle got it into his head that Magnus liked him too. Alec dismissed her initially, confident that Magnus would have made a move by now if he were interested in Alec that way. But then, the tiny seed she planted spread roots in his mind—the hope from that little seedling growing into a garden until Alec felt effervescent.</p><p>So, Alec made a plan, much to Isabelle's amusement, for when and how he would tell Magnus his feelings and tried to trust that Isabelle (and Jace, and Aline, and Meliorn) weren't wrong.</p><p>Isabelle suggested Magnus' birthday because what better present could he give Magnus than his love, but Alec didn't want to ruin Magnus' day with his confession if this went south. Alec planned to invite Magnus out with them and, with some liquid courage, ask Magnus to dance and either confess his love or kiss him and see how that goes. Simple and to the point. If Magnus rejected him, Alec was in a place full of alcohol to drown his embarrassment.</p><p>Magnus squashed that plan when he wasn't available to come. Alec burned to know why - Magnus never turned down clubbing. Not a big deal; Alec could push back his timeline. Magnus and Alec always got a ton of greasy food to soak up all the alcohol after a night out.</p><p>Plan B was Alec could whisper his love in the darkness of Magnus' living room, half snuggled together under a blanket. So similar to the nights they already spent together, but better because they could snuggle and kiss, and maybe Magnus would take him to bed.</p><p>Alec had never felt this way before, even with boyfriends in the past. He wanted to touch Magnus all the time whenever they were together. Alec grew up in an undemonstrative household. Little touch was par for the course. His father was more likely to give him a handshake than a hug, and his mother hugged him precisely three times when he was growing up. The first, when he made high honors in sixth grade, second, when he'd woken up after surgery when his appendix burst, and the third and final time when he got accepted into law school. Maryse had grown leaps and bounds of her divorce from Alec's father and hugged him at every expected opportunity.</p><p>So, Alec wouldn't have considered himself touch-starved, but it was still a near thing with his family in another state. Then Magnus came along, and now, Alec thought that sometimes he was Magnus-starved. Alec loved the soft sound Magnus made when Alec trailed his fingers across the knobby bones of his spine, or how Magnus would push into his fingers when Alec carded them through his hair.</p><p>That feeling was firmly pulverized when he got a front-row seat to Magnus and his not-hook-up. It was kind of like watching a train wreck. Terrible and uncomfortable, but Alec couldn't look away. Watching them kiss and grind together felt akin to a hand reaching into his chest and crushing his heart into dust. (Magnus' theatrics were rubbing off on him.)</p><p>Magnus' kissing partner could easily pass for Alec's twin, right down to the dimple on their noses. If that's what Magnus liked, why wasn't Alec good enough? Magnus was obviously at least superficially attracted to him. But, on the other hand, Magnus wasn't in any way obligated to want to date Alec. There were just so many signs that seemed to point to Magnus being interested, but then he was here, sucking face with a stranger.</p><p>Alec wasn't judging Magnus, but he didn't really understand hookups. Alec himself had never met someone for the first time and wanted sex. Even with Magnus, while he thought he was beautiful from the moment they met, sex didn't factor in until months into their friendship when Alec realized he was in love. It was a concept Alec couldn't wrap his mind around.</p><p>A small part of Alec wished he did understand the instant sexual attraction other people had. Then he could go out and lose himself in someone to try to forget about Magnus, but that would never happen. Months ago, Alec had told Magnus he wanted sex to be with someone special who really saw Alec and loved him. Maybe Magnus didn't love him, but still, Alec could only picture Magnus filling that role.</p><p>He wanted Magnus to be his first. Magnus was already his first love. So it would only be fitting that Magnus also be the first man he has sex with. One night of pleasure with the man he loved for Alec to hold onto. Alec wasn't built for friends with benefits, but he thought if sex was all Magnus would be willing to give him, Alec would jump at the chance to be with him any way he could and hope eventually he was good enough for Magnus to want more.</p><p>Alec doesn't know how long he stared at them, watching their kisses get dirtier under the flashing lights. He couldn't look away while the man slid his hands from Magnus' hair to his ass, kneading the muscle there. It took all his self-control not to march over there and pull him off of Magnus. Plead with Magnus to understand that he was right here. Magnus could have Alec if only he'd look at him and see.</p><p>As it was, Alec's gut still churned with so much jealousy he's surprised he didn't look like the jolly green giant. It took every ounce of his self-control to stop himself from ripping Magnus out of the man's arms. Magnus didn't need anyone to rescue him, and Magnus wasn't his. He could make his own choices and fuck whomever he wanted.</p><p>Alec doesn't remember much after that. Magnus and his conquest stumbled out of the club, mouths still fused together as much as possible. Alec made a beeline for the bar and downed four tequila shots hoping to blur the edges of his broken heart.</p><p>As the alcohol hit his system, he realized, drunk or not; he wanted to go home. He wasn't going to be pleasant company for anyone. He took an uber home, and apparently, tequila lowered his filter more than he anticipated, which was how he ended up here. Drunk texting Magnus.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>Hey.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>I hope you're okay.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Magnus:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>hey you. how was clubbing with Izzy? i'm ordering way too much thai food. you wanna come over and help me eat it?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Magnus:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>yeah, i'm fine, alexander. why wouldn't I be?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>izzy and I saw you at the club leaving with someone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>You've never mentioned going home with someone before, and I was worried about you. I didn't think you'd answer so soon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>Alexander </strong>❤️:</em><br/>
<em>I'm sorry. It's dumb.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Magnus:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>oh. i didn't see you both there.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Magnus:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>it was an impromptu alcohol-fueled journey. i should have gone out with you and Isabelle. but don't worry about me, i'm a big boy. i can handle myself</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Magnus:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>SOOO. thai food? yes/no?</em>
</p><p>It was hard to see someone when you're busy searching for someone's tonsils with your tongue, Alec thought bitterly. Magnus would have had to unlatch himself from his companion's face and take in his surroundings to see Alec. By the time Magnus came up for air, Alec had faded into the shadows, nursing his broken heart that only shattered further when Magnus stumbled out of the club, dragging his companion behind him</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>is that your type?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Magnus:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>is what my type? thai food?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>nooo the guy you took home. you like um... that's what you like in guys?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Magnus:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>i have a weakness for tall men but never fear, alexander. you're my favorite giant.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>Are you sure you want me to come over?</em>
</p><p>Alec's stomach churned with anxiety. He didn't think Magnus would invite him over if his hookup was still there, but this was whole new territory. Alec never had to deal with the agony of meeting someone Magnus had sex with. To the best of his knowledge, it wasn’t something Magnus had done a lot of lately. Magnus had never mentioned a current partner of any kind in the time he's known him.</p><p>Of course, Magnus had told him all about Camille, Imasu, and Dorothea and the occasional flings he's had over the years, so Alec knew this was something Magnus sometimes did. But, stupidly, Alec had started to wonder if he was the reason Magnus stopped. Magnus had no shortage of admirers when they went out together, but Magnus only had eyes for Alec. Magnus always went home alone or with Alec to his apartment for food after a night out, so Alec thought....</p><p>How naive he'd been to ever think Magnus would ever want someone like him. Alec was good enough to look at but not enough to love.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Magnus:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>yes of course. i ordered your favorite. come over.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>k i'll get a cab. drank all my tequila. &gt;:-( do you have tequila?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Magnus:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>yes. i always keep tequila on hand for you. is everything okay?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Alexander ❤️:</strong>
  </em><br/>
<em>yepppppp. i’m fantastic.</em>
</p><p>--------</p><p>Alec's heart broke a little bit when the door swung open, revealing Magnus with still swollen lips and a faint hickey under his ear. Alec felt like he was going to be sick. He hated thinking about that man's hands and mouth all over Magnus' body. Maybe that half a bottle of tequila wasn't a good idea. Then again, having to see Magnus like this without the tequila might have been unbearable. It was a double-edged sword.</p><p>Alec opened his mouth to say hi but instead blurted out, "You changed clothes."</p><p>"What an astute observation. I also showered and brushed my teeth."</p><p>Alec stood, well, leaned, frozen in his spot with a plastic bag clutched in his hands, the doorframe one of the only things keeping him on his feet. Gazing at Magnus, Alec felt speechless. Alec had never seen Magnus like this before; so casual. His face was free of makeup, and his hair fell loosely over his face, dressed in only Alec’s t-shirt and pajama pants. Alec didn't even know he owned pajama pants. Did his hookup get to see him like this? Had they showered together and enjoyed a second round? God, there wasn't enough tequila in the world to deal with this.</p><p>"Alexander, is there something wrong with my clothes? You haven't stopped glaring at them."</p><p>Since Alec's brain-to-mouth filter was broken, Alec stupidly answered with the first thing that came to mind. "You're so beautiful."</p><p>Magnus stared at him with wide eyes, his mouth parted in what Alec's drunken mind thought might be shock. Fuck knows what was so suprising. Alec watched Magnus visibly shake himself back to the present. "Wow, you are really drunk."</p><p>Alec had actually sobered up quite a bit on the walk over, not that one could tell. Regardless, Alec wanted to say he didn't need to be drunk to think Magnus was beautiful. People would have to be blind not to see how gorgeous he was. At that moment, Magnus turned his head, revealing another hickey. It was the reminder Alec needed to bury his feelings as deep down as he could get them. "I always think you're beautiful," Alec whispered so Magnus wouldn't hear him.</p><p>Alec pushed himself off the doorframe, his whole body swaying and the room spinning a bit. Perhaps he’d gone a bit overboard on the drinking. Magnus reached out to steady him, but Alec couldn’t stomach having Magnus’ hands on him. Not so sooner after they’d been on somebody else. Sidestepping Magnus’s hands, Alec made a beeline for the kitchen. He shoved the plastic bag at him, still careful not to touch Magnus' skin. "Um, I brought those little coconut creme pies you like."</p><p>Alec looked around the apartment as subtly as he could manage for Magnus' bedmate while rummaging through the cabinets for tequila and grenadine. Alec grabbed some orange juice from the fridge and poured a generous measure into his glass, followed by an even greater amount of tequila. Alec wanted to just pour the grenadine over the top of the drink, but Magnus would bitch about Alec shitting on the proper way to make a cocktail. So instead, Alec dug through the drawers until he found a spoon, holding it dome side up and slowly pouring the grenadine over it.</p><p>Too much work for a drink he was going to slam, in Alec's opinion, but it was damn tasty. Alec took one more cursory glance around the apartment, half expecting someone to walk out of the bathroom or Magnus' bedroom at any moment.</p><p>"He left a while ago if that's what you're worried about. We didn't do anything, so the apartment surfaces are safe, I promise."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>Alec was usually much better at controlling himself. He’s spent seven months around Magnus easily not saying things like, “This feels like a date” or “you feel like home.” Tonight has shot that all to hell though and he’s asking things he doesn’t even want to know the answer to.</p><p>"Why what?"</p><p>What Alec tried to say was: “Never mind. What do you want to watch?” But his drunken brain to mouth filter strikes again and what he actually said was: "Why didn't you fuck him? You seemed pretty into it at the club."</p><p>Abort. Abort. Abort.</p><p>---------</p><p>Alec was noticeably off the whole night. Starting with his text messages, Alec seemed fixated on what Magnus’s type was. Yes, Magnus wanted to scream through his phone. I like tall, dark-haired men. Preferably named Alexander. Bonus if they're my best friend. If Magnus were just a little drunker, he very well might have. Then when Alec got to Magnus’ apartment, he reeked of tequila and cherries and needed the doorframe to keep upright. When Magnus tried to steady him, Alec made sure Magnus didn’t touch his skin. Alec had never been touch-adverse with him.</p><p>Magnus wanted to chalk Alec’s strange behavior up to drunkenness, but he's seen Alec drunk before. More often than not, Magnus has been drunk with him. Alec was something of a lightweight, but this was beyond anything Magnus had experienced. Alec almost seemed jealous of Evan and Magnus knew Alec wasn’t interested, so jealousy didn’t make sense. Magnus had two working theories. Theory number one: Alec noticed how much Evan looked like him and felt uncomfortable around Magnus or theory number two: confronted with a front row seat to Magnus’ would-be hook-up made him uncomfortable and he thinks Magnus is a slut for nearly sleeping with a stranger.</p><p>But neither theories really made sense. In the low lighting of the club it was unlikely he saw exactly how much Evan looked like him, and it wasn't like Alec to slut-shame anyone. He listened to Isabelle's escapades without a single derogatory word. Alec would only voice any kind of displeasure when she got a little too detailed.</p><p>Why didn't you fuck him? You seemed pretty into it at the club. Magnus mulled over Alec’s question. He wanted to give Alec the closest answer to the truth and that’s taking some mental gymnastics he wasn’t prepared for. If Alec didn’t press, Magnus thinks he can get away with “too drunk”. Magnus had settled on an answer when Alec stepped around the counter, clapping him on the shoulder a little too forcefully. “You know what, that’s none of my business. You're free to do who--whatever you want. I shouldn’t have,” Alec trailed off with a shrug.</p><p>"I realized I was too drunk," and I’m madly in love with you, "and I sent him home. Evan was very nice about everything, and I'm sorry if I worried you. I didn't think you would find--."</p><p>"No, don't you dare be sorry. It's me. I…. " Alec paused. His eyes bore into Magnus, his gaze surprisingly intense for a drunk person, setting Magnus on edge. “I've just never seen you with someone like that before, and it threw me off, I guess. I’m the one who should be sorry. Who is sorry."</p><p>Alec slowly unfolded his arms, holding them open for Magnus to fall into. Magnus happily buried his face into Alec’s neck where Alec’s scent wasn’t covered by tequila. This was the Alec Magnus knew and loved.</p><p>Alec pressed a kiss to Magnus’ hair. “So, I was promised Thai food. Wanna watch The Great British Bake Off and pig out on the couch? I’ll let you paint my nails after.”</p><p>“Oh, Alexander, you always know the way to my heart.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you, CorvusCloudburst for suggesting Gideon Hardwood as Alec’s stripper name and letting me use it! 💖☺️</p><p>p.s. You can follow me on Twitter if you'd like! I occasionally post snippets and talk about my writing and stuff. :) same name as here. (I am unoriginal.)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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